alcohol help

at the end, a typical pattern for me was that i would go down to the store, all the local storesincluding the big grocery stores knew me by name and i we go in there and i would buy a36 pack. it was always between 30 and 40 beers and just kept going... kept going and the next day, i'd start over. "you need to get help. you need to get help. we're not coming back into your life until you get help." i didn't want help... but it was that day

i didn't want alcohol either. i just knew it was tough because... i mean... it was embarrassing. i'd go to the store and the guys that knew me and i'd always joke around with... instead of just handing them money, i started realizing, it was like i was epileptic. you were shaking? oh yeah. it was bad. i realized it took over and iwas scared. i was scared to stop. i was scared to go on... if that makes any kind of sense. i was kind of in a

mental, spiritual and physical limbowhere it's the why and what next always plagued me and now i knew i had to do something, but at the time i was 32 years old and i thought... you know feel like a race horse, strong out of the gate and then didn't finish for anything... it was right in the middle of the race i got crippled, laid up and someone was about to come put me down... is basically felt. kory brought me up here and

basically check me into the the detoxhouse. i learned all this after, i didn't knowreally where i was at the time other than a nice cabin and we set up an appointment to goto the doctor the next day. i remember that there was staffthat would just come check on me and they were very gracious, like it was almost like you're going to a relative you haven't seen in a long time, where you're not going to get a hug but anything you want the fridge, you're welcome to it. my biggest

advocate was the counselor that i had assigned to me or however itworks where rick i remember like we laughed a lotand he was a straight shooter. it wasn't one of those, "here's a lemon wedge for your water", he didn't care about that. he wanted to make sure that myhead was right and this is what's gonna happen and you know, you've already embarrassed yourself. so they took that element away, you know, we don't have embarrassment. this is you moving forward, thisis the life that you chose

and i remember just having it where i wasable to communicate talk and i trusted him because he wastransparent. he didn't hide anything from us, it wasn'tlike... i didn't feel like "here's a file" or "here, oh you're screwed up". you know? it was funny because irealized, me and everyone in the group... we didn't say anything surprised anybody. our behavior, abhorrent as it was, wasn't something that was new and i was an iconoclast, i was fitting into a

typical mold where, you need help... good for you... you came to see us!