alcohol addiction

okay, i'm callie ludwick. i'm 18. i'm from mentor, ohio and my main addictionwas alcohol. i had my first drink when i was 14 or 15 andi remember, as soon as it hit me, i'm like, "what is this--this is the best thing i'veever tried." and since then i was binge drinking anytimei could, anytime. 34.1 percent of 15-year-olds report thatthey have had at least 1 drink in their lives (nsduh) my breaking point was probably aftermy boyfriend died of heroin overdose. and the day after his funeral, i planned mysuicide.

my mom, being the mother she is, she saw itright away. she saw that--'cause we--in our family, there'sa heavy, heavy, heavy line of addicts and she just saw it in my eyes and she just kindof knew. 4,358 people under age 21 die each year fromalcohol-related car crashes, homicides, suicides, alcohol poisoning, and other injuries (nih) me and my addiction--i'm a great manipulator and a great liar and i'll hide anything fromyou--i'll do whatever it takes. and i was good at it--i was very, very goodat what i did. so she didn't know the extent of it. nearly 88,000 people die from alcohol-relatedcauses annually, making alcohol the fourth leading preventable cause of death in theunited states (nih)

don't let anyone belittle your addiction, because what you're feelingis very, very real, and it's scary, and your feelings are valid. a lot of people will try to tell you, "wellyou're not that bad of an addict--you're not that bad of an alcoholic." and, you know, that kind of messes with yourmind a little bit, and that's just not true-- it's not. so don't let anyone tell you that you can'tdo this 'cause you can.